🖼️GENERAL_WHISKERS_OFFICIAL_PORTRAIT.BMP_□×

General Whiskers saluting with a salad bowl helmet

1080×1920 · 16.7M colors

Rank: GENERAL

📜DRAFT_NOTICE.TXT — Notepad_□×

CLASSIFIEDAPPROVED
BY CAT

Soldier.
The cat
is calling.

General Whiskers has put on the ceremonial salad bowl. This hasn't happened since the Great Laser Pointer War of 2019.

You have been drafted. No exemptions. No doctor's note. "I have swim practice" is not a valid excuse.

TICKER: $COD · CHAIN: ROBINHOOD · LIVES: 9

🪖 ENLIST NOW

𝕏 Twitter 📈 Pons

Morale: 9000%

Salutes: 0

Field Reports> recovered from the front lines. do not leak to the dogs.

Error×

⛔PAPERHAND.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

Lol.

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How to Enlist> boot camp in 4 steps. no push-ups required.

🪖Enlistment Wizard — Cat Of Duty Setup_□×

Grab your gear

Download Robinhood Wallet or MetaMask and add Robinhood Chain. That's your backpack, your canteen, your portable litter box. Never share your seed phrase. Not even with the General. Especially not the General, he would eat it.

Load ammo

Get ETH on Robinhood Chain. Recommended caliber: enough to not cry, not enough to get divorced.

Hit the front

Go to Pons, paste the official CA and swap ETH for $COD. ⚠ Check the CA. The dogs deploy fakes to trap recruits.

Helmet on

Change your PFP. Find a salad bowl. Salute. Do not sell. You are now officially mobilized, soldier.

Next > BUY $COD

Rations> tokenomics, as approved by the quartermaster

📊Microsoft Exhell — RATIONS.XLS_□×

	A	B	C
1	RATION	AMOUNT	HQ NOTES
2	Total supply	1,000,000,000	One billion. Roughly 111M cats × 9 lives.
3	Buy / Sell tax	3% / 3%	3% tax on buys and sells.
4	Liquidity	🔥 BURNED	Torched by the Sergeant's flamethrower.
5	Ownership	RENOUNCED	The cat ate the keys.
6	Mint function	NONE	The cat ate the pen.
7	Team wallet	0	Team is paid in Whiskas.
8	Salad bowls	1	It is sacred. Do not touch.
9	=SUM(MOON)	#VALUE!	Number too big for Exhell 95.

Ready

NUM

KIBBLE

Intercepted Comms> twitter 95 · 56k modem · all world leader tweets are parody, obviously

Radar Alert×

📡A dog has been spotted 3 km from the couch.
Hold your position.

Roger

Battle Plan> operation salad bowl · top secret

🗺️BATTLE_PLAN.DOC — WordPad_□×

✔

Phase 1 — The AwakeningThe General wakes up. Finds a salad bowl. Puts it on his head. History begins.

✔

Phase 2 — D-Day on PonsFair launch. No presale. No VCs. Just paws.

Phase 3 — Battle of Robinhood ChainTake the hill. Plant the flag. Knock a glass off the table on the way.

Phase 4 — Operation Kibble StormRaid CT. 10,000 soldiers. Every reply a 🫡.

Phase 5 — Liberation of Binance~~Negotiate politely~~ Meow at the door until they open it.

Phase 6 — The MoonPlant a salad bowl on the moon. Ignore the dogs.

This document will self-destruct in 5 seconds. Actually no, the cat already spilled coffee on it.

Soldier.The catis calling.